Tuesday, June 3, 2014

10 Pregnancy Truths

There are so many things we all expect with pregnancy; moodiness, morning sickness, swollen feet....but there are so many things they don't warn you about. I was unprepared. So I thought I would share a few things I was surprised by. I am not complaining, I am thrilled to be blessed with this little moon pie. I am just sharing some things I have run into in my first four months.

1. Morning sickness is a lie. Oh sure, you get sick in the morning....and afternoon...and evening and all the time in between. Thanks to the increase of hormones surging through our bodies, three quarters of preggy ladies get to experience what I now just call The Sickness.

2. You have a baby bump from the first month on....but it isn't your expanding uterus or your growing baby that gives you a bump....it's constipation. Gross and TMI??? I don't care. More people should talk about it so that more people are prepared for the horrible, bloated and painful experience. Your digestive system slows down to really milk all the nutrients it can from every bite of food. Mine has slowed down so much that a freaking sloth would be impressed.

3. Nose bleeds. Yep. 20 years playing ball and never had a one. 4 months pregnant and have had three. Expanding blood vessels and increased blood flow really puts a lot of pressure on the sensitive little veins in your nose. One big sneeze and you could have the red sea on your hands.

4. Crabiness times 100. Chances are if you are talking to me, or around me or within ear shot of me...I want to punch you in the face. Remember that evil wench that was 9th grade PMS who would come visit you maybe one week a month???? Yeah, this is her bigger, meaner pissed off olde sister and she is here to wreck shop. One measly week a month??? Try every day for three months. And the first few weeks, when you don't even know you are pregnant, really messes with you. I thought I had turned into the world's most hateful person overnight. I am usually a pretty positive person who tries to see the good in people. Nope. Not when pregnant. Everyone on Facebook is the devil, everyone at work are idiots and everyone in my family is annoying. I had zero filter and had to fight to keep my mouth shut half the time. I was unfriending people left and right on social media.

5. Loss of sense of humor, patience, interest or ability to fake any of the aforementioned in everyday life. Oh the line at the supermarket was long? I don’t care. Traffic sucked? Shut up. You ask how my day is going? Get out of my face. You saw a squirrel fox-trotting with a turtle? You're blocking my path to the toilet.

6. Pregnancy Ugly. This is to replace the ever popular term Pregnancy Glow. I look like crap. I haven't done my hair or makeup in three months. I am bloated, broken out, none of my cute clothes fit and my feet are too swollen to wear anything but comfy, ugly flats. And I am 100% positive I have not had any glow anywhere around me.  Not to mention my body hair grows ten times faster than it did.
babies in the womb

7. Feeling tired doesn't begin to cover it. From 1 pm to around 7 pm I feel like I am in a groggy daze. All I can think about is the next time I can sneak to my car for a nap. I have fallen asleep on the phone, sitting up at my desk and in the drive through at Chick-Fil-A. The only reason it stops at 7 pm is because I go to bed.

8. Veins. With the increase of blood flow going on in my body, my feet and hands have huge swollen veins. I now know this is common but had no idea going into it. I expected swollen feet once I had a big belly and was waddling around. I never realized the swollen feet are not just from the large weight gain later in pregnancy. They swell right away from crappy circulation and increased blood flow. A twenty minute walk around the block makes my feet swell and ache like a four hour practice in college never did.

9. Boobies. I knew they would get bigger and would continue to do so...but I had no idea that my areolas would double in size and get darker so quickly. It really is quite amazing. Our bodies are so genetically streamlined for reproduction that your nipples prepare for a newborns bad eyesight. The increased size and darkening color are to help that new little nugget more easily find your breast and zero in on his/her feeding time target. Reading about the biology behind it all has been mind-blowing. Our bodies were made for this. I can see why people get so upset when people make negative comments about mothers breastfeeding in public. We were made to do this. Our bodies know it even if your mind doesn't. Get over it. Or don't. Either way, keep your mouth shut.

10. Speaking of keeping your mouth shut. People cannot. Everyone and their mother, literally, will have advice for you, opinions for you and horror stories for you. And everyone tells you conflicting stuff. They are all 100% positive they know what they are talking about and then someone two hours later with a conflicting opinion is 100% positive they are correct. Same goes for baby books. I have read about 6 of them now, and all are helpful in one way or another, each one has contradicted the other at some point. Just take all advice with a grain of salt and a smile. Just educate yourself and go with what works best for your family. That’s all you can do. And as much as you try to prepare yourself, you can never really prepare yourself and none of this is in our control.

I know all of this makes pregnancy sound awful. But the truth is, I love it. And I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything in the world.

Hope I didn’t scare you off.

mama g


  1. Avoid the sun while pregnant! No one told me about the huge dark brown spots that show up on your face while pregnant! After 21 years, most have faded... I was reminded of them recently while looking at old photos of me pregnant! Strange food cravings and aversions... can change in minutes... But it's all worth it! Hang in there and try to enjoy it!

  2. Wait until the second and third trimester- I thought the first was bad (I was plagued with migraines), until I experienced the next two! You'll have to update this blog after that, haha! Since I can't keep my mouth shut either, here's my "horror story" for you: The one thing no one ever told me about was the insane pain in the "most sensitive of areas" every time you try to stand or walk during the entire third trimester. And of course once I'm confiding in friends or family members at least half admitted they had it too!

  3. Not sure I should have read this ;)

  4. Oh you are sweet to not mention the crazy amounts of discharge. The painful overload of gas and the fact that you can never cool down, so even in the winter time you will want to walk around in a tank top. who cares if your standing in front of the Christmas tree in a tank while its snowing outside.

    And, not to burst your bubble, but wait until you see what happens afterward when the hormones drain out of your body. The body is a crazy thing and thank God you get a beautiful baby because the aftermath on your body, skin, hair and boobies is UGLY.

    Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnd congrats :)

  5. If you lived closer I'd let you borrow some of my size 13 shoes.... Payless & Nordstrom Rach have a surprisingly decent selection of bigger sizes if you need something to hold you over while your feet are larger than normal. I've never been pregnant so I can't relate to most of it but I do already have giant feet. After reading this I'm even more curious about the pregnancy experience some day down the road. There's definitely a reason babies come out so stinking sweet and cute!

  6. Luckily, I have not had too many issues. I don't have constipation.. I have diarrhea every morning. lol Third trimester brings lots of aches and pains in the nether regions, just fyi.. But I will say.. feeling my babies move and wiggle even when they kick/push on something that hurts.. makes it all worth it. Congrats mommy! Remember to let Travis tell you how beautiful and be extra affectionate, even when you may feel like crud. I struggle with it, but the daddies love to see how your body changes for your baby. It really brings them joy that they can't explain.

    Also, you have not seen swelling yet, hun. I have to wear compression socks, and even then I have cankles :)

  7. Good Info to know:) Good luck MTB (mommy to be).