There are so many things we all expect with pregnancy; moodiness, morning
sickness, swollen feet....but there are so many things they don't warn you
about. I was unprepared. So I thought I would share a few things I was
surprised by. I am not complaining, I am thrilled to be blessed with this
little moon pie. I am just sharing some things I have run into in my first four
months.
1. Morning sickness is a lie. Oh sure, you get sick in the morning....and
afternoon...and evening and all the time in between. Thanks to the increase of
hormones surging through our bodies, three quarters of preggy ladies get to experience
what I now just call The Sickness.
2. You have a baby bump from the first month on....but it isn't your
expanding uterus or your growing baby that gives you a bump....it's
constipation. Gross and TMI??? I don't care. More people should talk about it
so that more people are prepared for the horrible, bloated and painful experience.
Your digestive system slows down to really milk all the nutrients it can from
every bite of food. Mine has slowed down so much that a freaking sloth would be
impressed.
3. Nose bleeds. Yep. 20 years playing ball and never had a one. 4 months
pregnant and have had three. Expanding blood vessels and increased blood flow really
puts a lot of pressure on the sensitive little veins in your nose. One big
sneeze and you could have the red sea on your hands.
4. Crabiness times 100. Chances are if you are talking to me, or around me
or within ear shot of me...I want to punch you in the face. Remember that evil
wench that was 9th grade PMS who would come visit you maybe one week a
month???? Yeah, this is her bigger, meaner pissed off olde sister and she is here
to wreck shop. One measly week a month??? Try every day for three months. And
the first few weeks, when you don't even know you are pregnant, really messes
with you. I thought I had turned into the world's most hateful person
overnight. I am usually a pretty positive person who tries to see the good in
people. Nope. Not when pregnant. Everyone on Facebook is the devil, everyone at
work are idiots and everyone in my family is annoying. I had zero filter and
had to fight to keep my mouth shut half the time. I was unfriending people left
and right on social media.
5. Loss of sense of humor, patience, interest or ability to fake any of the aforementioned
in everyday life. Oh the line at the supermarket was long? I don’t care.
Traffic sucked? Shut up. You ask how my day is going? Get out of my face. You
saw a squirrel fox-trotting with a turtle? You're blocking my path to the
toilet.
6. Pregnancy Ugly. This is to replace the ever popular term Pregnancy Glow.
I look like crap. I haven't done my hair or makeup in three months. I am
bloated, broken out, none of my cute clothes fit and my feet are too swollen to
wear anything but comfy, ugly flats. And I am 100% positive I have not had any
glow anywhere around me. Not to mention my body hair grows ten times faster than it did.
7. Feeling tired doesn't begin to cover it. From 1 pm to around 7 pm I feel
like I am in a groggy daze. All I can think about is the next time I can sneak
to my car for a nap. I have fallen asleep on the phone, sitting up at my desk
and in the drive through at Chick-Fil-A. The only reason it stops at 7 pm is
because I go to bed.
8. Veins. With the increase of blood flow going on in my body, my feet and
hands have huge swollen veins. I now know this is common but had no idea going
into it. I expected swollen feet once I had a big belly and was waddling
around. I never realized the swollen feet are not just from the large weight
gain later in pregnancy. They swell right away from crappy circulation and
increased blood flow. A twenty minute walk around the block makes my feet swell and
ache like a four hour practice in college never did.
9. Boobies. I knew they would get bigger and would continue to do so...but I
had no idea that my areolas would double in size and get darker so quickly. It
really is quite amazing. Our bodies are so genetically streamlined for reproduction
that your nipples prepare for a newborns bad eyesight. The increased size and
darkening color are to help that new little nugget more easily find your breast
and zero in on his/her feeding time target. Reading about the biology behind it
all has been mind-blowing. Our bodies were made for this. I can see why people
get so upset when people make negative comments about mothers breastfeeding in
public. We were made to do this. Our bodies know it even if your mind doesn't.
Get over it. Or don't. Either way, keep your mouth shut.
10. Speaking of keeping your mouth shut. People cannot. Everyone and their
mother, literally, will have advice for you, opinions for you and horror
stories for you. And everyone tells you conflicting stuff. They are all 100%
positive they know what they are talking about and then someone two hours later
with a conflicting opinion is 100% positive they are correct. Same goes for baby books. I have read
about 6 of them now, and all are helpful in one way or another, each one has contradicted
the other at some point. Just take all advice with a grain of salt and a smile.
Just educate yourself and go with what works best for your family. That’s all you
can do. And as much as you try to prepare yourself, you can never really
prepare yourself and none of this is in our control.
I know all of this makes pregnancy sound awful. But the truth is, I love it. And I wouldn't trade this feeling for
anything in the world.
Hope I didn’t scare you off.
mama g